Saturday, November 20

Tips for a happy marriage

In the debate about time-squeeze, freedom to choose what is best for each families, etc. maybe these "good" advices (extracted from a "heimkunnskapsbok" from the 50's) will help females to understand their position in the marriage, partnership or relationship.
If right- or left-wing feminists think I am attacking them,
Read and learn:

Get your work done
Plan your tasks carefully and keep an eye on the clock. Get ready an hour before he is expected home. The man does not feel that heat flows toward him when he hears you break out "Are you home already?".

Have dinner ready
Plan a delicious meal at home the night before. When you show that you care about him and his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.Prepare yourself
Use fifteen minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Then you are also glad to see him, instead of being too tired to bother. Forget all the worries you may have, and be eternally grateful that you have the man who will soon come in the door. While you rest, you think about contracts and things you can do to give him spiritual uplifting. When you stand up, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little more fun and interesting than usual. He may need a lift after the long workday.
Clear away the clutter
Make one last trip through the house before he arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the bedroom for sorting later. Then you go over the tables with a duster. Your husband will feel he has come to a place of peace and order, and it will also make you feel more relaxed. Having the house in order is another way to show him that you really care about his homecoming.

Prepare your children
Take a few minutes to wash children's hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair and change clothes if they are dirty. They are little treasures, and they should look like this.

Minimize all noise.
Especially note if your husband has run in rush hour traffic. After his arrival eliminate all noise from the washing machine (of course if this is on). Encourage children to be quiet when he arrives. Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.

Be glad to see him
Greet him with a warm smile and be happy. Say that it's good to have him home. This can provide additional value to his day. He needs all the romance he can get from you.
Not!
Do not greet him with problems or complaints. Solve problems before he comes home, if not, wait with them until evening comes. Also, do not complain if he comes home late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem compared to what he may have gone through that day. Do not allow children to rush at him with problems or requirements. Just leave them to briefly greet their father.

Be nice mod him
Give him the chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Be happy to massage his feet, but do not insist on this. Speak to him with a soft and relaxing voice. Let him relax.

Listen to him
You might have a dozen things to tell him, but his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he better at what you have to tell him later.
Let the night be his
Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or the theater. Try to understand his stressful job and his need to stay home and relax. Is he sour and irritating not turn back, understand his stressful world.

The goal
Try to make your home a haven of peace and in order where your husband can refresh himself in body and spirit. Doing this he will rather be with you than anywhere else in the world and he will spend all their time on you and your children. Try to live by these rules for homecoming and see what happens. This is the right way to get a man home to you, not to complain and be in irritation.

Have a nice weekend

Thanks to Eldar Tandstad [mailto:eldar@leathermaster.no] and Asbjørn for letting me know.

3 comments:

9na said...

Godt verden har gått fremover, Arne ;)

GAWO said...

... og hold tøflene varme og fremstrakte når han kommer inn døren....
Gudbedre.

RuneE said...

Og alt dette har du selvfølgelig levd opp til :-)